


Not Listening to This Bullshit

by Randomscreamfest



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Actual Deaf issues in Deaf culture, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Deaf Character, Deaf Culture, Deaf Gamzee, Deaf Karkat, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Hearing Implants, I suck at updating on any schedule, Karkat POV, M/M, Minor Terezi Pyrope/Dave Strider, Mixed Cultures, On Hiatus, POV Dave, Physical Harm, Rating May Change, Self Harm, Sign Language, Sign Language actually done in proper format, Slow biuld, Trolls integrated into socioty, self hate, shifting pov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-02-17 15:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2313926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randomscreamfest/pseuds/Randomscreamfest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing about mirror shades is they are annoying as FUCKING HELL to try and figure out, the eyes behind them are so much more interesting than my pale gray skin and flashing hands. My nervous blush doesn't look good in them either.<br/>I’m getting ahead of myself again.<br/>Love, Loss, Lust, Drugs, Disability, Dave. Sometimes there's too much on a young troll's plate.<br/>On Hiatus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Two sides

**Author's Note:**

> The Deaf in this story is taken from the Deaf Community in Texas, Some signs and word orders will be regional and may sound stunted or even stupid to the average English reader. This is what lies at the heart of this story and I ask you to bear through the reading of Gloss (Sign Language put onto paper) as it will get easier to understand the more of it you read~

The thing about mirror shades is they are annoying as FUCKING HELL to try and figure out, the eyes behind them are so much more interesting than my pale gray skin and flashing hands anyway. My nervous blush doesn't look good in them either, I gulp gently and move to put on the little mechanical device, the only thing that separates us from being normal. His hand catches mine and shakes his head.

My heart stops then, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

My Name is Karkat and this shit train got kind of started two years ago, when I entered public high school for the first time.

The school itself wasn't bad, wide halls and tall windows, like some space age modern marvel set out in the middle of a field, surrounded by its less lovely and much more cramped space babies surrounding it. The school was spread into four main tower things connected with glass bridges, the square was set up so the middle was a few basketball hoops and a bunch of tables, but it was obviously in disuse as the tables still had paint shines on them. The school had been painted bright colors where there wasn't glass and gave the impression of a toddlers toy, disjoint and sanded corners.

It was surprisingly louder inside then out, the upper levels hanging signs and posters down over the railings that read encouragement to and from everything. The students were in class and it gave the impression of a ghost town, bits of paper scuttling down the hall instead of tumbleweeds and there was no Katherine Heigl standing with her soft smile at the end of the hall like in Love Comes Slowly.

I shook my head to clear it, Kankri was motioning me from the door to the office. He was talking to the man behind the desk as I walked up, but I wasn't interested in what they were saying so I didn't pay attention, looking around the waiting room with its dusty potted plants and overly soft chairs. I saw the flash of red as Kankri walked down the hall following the man from the counter to the registrar’s office so I could get registered. Kankri’s jaw was still moving but I couldn't tell what he was saying.

It wasn't just the halls for the kids colored brightly and annoyingly, it was all the walls, and in my dark hoodie and pants there wasn't a more opposite to me then this school. I hadn't wanted to come but Kankri had thought it best that I ‘get out of the house’ and ‘meet people around my age’ but I couldn't bring myself to care really. I huffed breath and Kankri turned his head, not pausing his talking and not sparing me more than a glance. Thankfully. I ran my hand through my messed up hair and tried to make it into a semi-decent state as Kankri filled out the last of my forms and handed me off to a perky woman with big eyes.

She couldn't be older than Kankri, not looking a day over 25 and leading him out of the bright hall and into a more subdued green hall, she was a beautiful troll, her hair long and black. She seemed to be very giggly and her fingers were long and her claws perfectly manicured as they clicked together. Her hands curled towards me, nail to nail, perfectly made sign as she raised her eyebrows ‘how are you?’

My hand came up in a small shake, ‘ehh’ She nodded and happily went down the hall, coming to a room at the end, next to a giant window overlooking the track field. It seemed busy but she ushered me into a room with two other students in it, hands flashing in signs I didn't care to read off right then.

If you hadn't gotten the memo yet, I was Deaf, with a capital D and still breathing.

The woman introduced herself and the two boys in the class and the other teacher. Her fingers carefully spelt out each name. ‘Name me Meulin, name him’ she pointed to the man in the corner with weird markings on his skin and a skeleton shirt on ‘Kurloz.’ I could care less about the boys signing about whatever in the back. It wasn’t my place to read in or interrupt, as much as Kankri says I should ‘stand up for my place in this world’ I couldn’t bring myself to care. I was lead to a seat and shown my schedule and a map of the school. Meulin smiled at me, her cardigan a deep green and undershirt a dark gray, they looked good on her skin, and her horns were wide, like her eyes. She was beautiful in her way. ‘Show-around you, him’ she pointed to Kurloz who smiled when mentioned. ‘Classes two-of-you go’.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, I could get used to school.

 

* * *

 

First period bell rang and I was pushed out of the locker room, stupid freshmen trying to get to their friends early. I adjusted my glasses and made my way down the hall ignoring the shouts and squeaks of people seeing each other after one period.

“Dave!” I turn at the sound and see a little dark haired dork in glasses waving his hand, even though they met every day after first in the same spot every day. His Ghostbusters t-shirt was a touch too big in some areas, leaving more to the imagination than actually showing off his body. He gives me a hug and smiled at me. “Did you hear? There’s a new student in our grade.” I raised my eyebrow, not that it could be seen behind my shades but John always knew what I was thinking with my face all blank still. “I know it’s not important but it’s a troll! That’s cool right?”

“That’s awesome for him, as we go to a school for both trolls and humans.” John rolled his eyes.

“You know what! I have a dare for you!” John looked so smart, like this little bit of his trolling was actually going to work this time.

“Hold on one piping hot second, before you drop your fresh hot dare on this moment, Know this shit doesn't count at all. It’s my turn for a dare, not yours.”

John pouted and groaned. “No fair, your dares are always stupid ironic ones.”

He didn't just do that, calling my dares stupid, my anger bubbles slightly. I didn't let it show but I let my words flow out perfectly even, cool to the end, by Strider code. “Just because you can’t appreciate a good ironic joke doesn't mean the world should be left without it.” John sighed and started to walk as a teacher plowed through the students, yelling something about not moving and detentions. No one really wanted to be included in that. As they walked John chittered on about some troll or another who he’d set his love-struck eyes on. John had a kink he didn't realize he had. No one could go on about shitty movies and trolls this much and not see the connection. His first long term troll relationship would take him out to see a Nic Cage flic and they’d be bound for life by shitty movies. It would be the saddest thing I’d ever see and I've been friends with Egbert for years, seeing him fuck up plenty times unironically.

Egbert shared this class with me, thankfully it was an easy class. Foreign language was a mandatory class for two years. Two long years of some stupid class that was depressingly unironically boring. The teachers did try, and after no consideration at all I had chosen sign language. Now I could sit in the back as the teacher sat behind a desk and let the class blow off, but this year there was a new teacher, and a Deaf co-teach as this school contained Deaf children now. That was a stupid idea, let’s send some deaf kids and a deaf teacher into a school that runs on sounds, bells and other things. That was kinda ironic though, so I could appreciate it a touch. But the class was mostly a place where John and I could sit in the back corner and listen to music and maybe drop a sick beat sometimes.

The new teacher had finished the whole meet and greet shit a few weeks ago and was starting to get people to come up and sign for the class and actually work for their grades, so seeing a little troll boy standing against the white board didn't surprise me. I thought I knew everyone in the class on sight, and it bothered me that I hadn't seen this cutie before. John tapped my arm as I was staring at the troll.

As John opened his mouth to speak the more laid back of the two teachers flashed the lights, drawing the idle chatter to a pause. The teacher was a Troll, gray skin and small orange to yellow horns nestled in black hair, her nails matched her horns like all the other trolls did. The teacher’s hand came up and looked like she was turning a knob on her throat, the sign for voices off. It was so dumb to have a fully immersive class of hearing students who would just talk if they needed too. But rule compliance was important or some shit to Egbert who looked at the 'beautiful-in-the-cute-friendly-way-that-asked-you-for-cuddles-and-pets' teacher, (as he so stated in one of his many crush phases) so I obeyed the rules on his behalf.

Egbert wasn't good at sign language, but he always made a better grade in this class then I did. The notes on his grading sheets always said expressive, creative, and full of feeling or some bullshit. It was one of the only classes he was better than me at. My notes always came back with frowns all over the comments, apparently the Strider millimeter changes weren't enough for this class, my signs were mostly correct though, sometimes finger formations got away from me. Whatever.

The teacher smiled at us and started signing. I understood most of it, her flashing manufactured (They had to be, not even trolls had nails that sharp) nails trying to draw my attention from her face to be rude. Or some shit like that.

'New learn person something name Karkat. Something something.' Signs got away from me sometimes, well I caught what was important in that. Cute trolls name is Karkat, that's all I needed to strike up a conversation after class.

She motioned the boy forward and he signed with the ease of someone who knew how to use his hands and the half formed laziness of a teen so done with everything. I could barely pay attention to the boy's signs, wanting to look more closely at his horns. They were defective candy corn, rounded and small nestled deeply into his thick black curls. He was expressive not like john who made every movement of his face so big he couldn't stand to be looked at from sheer awkwardness, but much more subtlety, anger flowing from the clench of his eyes, awkward showing in his shoulders, a unnoticed hiss on his lips as he signed something about himself. His dark oversized sweater had the cancer symbol drawn on it. And my mind flashed back to a image that Jade and her troll friends had drawn. Some beautiful piece of me spinning at a set of separated turn tables the platform turning and leaving behind streaks after the turn tables. It looked like that symbol in the rough draft.

Karkat finished as my mind wandered back into the room. John looked so excited and opened his arm to the seat next to after Mrs. Meulin offered him any of the small amount of seats left in the overcrowded class. Karkat looked at the two of us before taking the offered seat. Was that a blush on his cheeks? My near perfect Strider sense said yes. Fuck this was going to be too easy.


	2. Chapter 2

This class didn't care at all. I had just finished introducing myself to blank stares. The lack of movement in the class unnerved me. Like they couldn't be bothered to care. But in the back a boy in a weird shirt waved to an open seat and I took it quickly. Anything to be away from the stillness of the rest of the children. Was this all high school was? Quiet hands and uninterested faces? There was a few trolls in the class, looking at you with a interest and disgust. Their eyes burn your skin and make you feel so alone, their eyes asking the question that had been asked again and again behind my back and never to my face. 'What happened to break you so much?' It was the question that was on my mind for most of my life. It didn't bother me as much as other things did now, mostly because I learned I was not alone like this.

It had been years ago.

I was starting to transition into my so called 'teenage years' as Kankri had put it in one of his rambling talks. The only person who knew sign language better than Kankri was the Deaf. He was able to sign with such speed and condescension that I actively ignored him or I'd be trying to kill him. He was talking about getting me out of my shell and gave me a few options. In short I should join a public 7th grade and leave my private tutor, not something I wanted to do in the least. Or to join a Deaf gathering, just to try it once.

I took the second option and it changed my life for the better.

Deafness was natural and beautiful in its own right. I just needed to be shown that. And it took Gamzee to show me that. Gamzee was deaf for the most part. He had residual hearing in his right ear that shifted in and out as time went on. He was at the gathering that Kankri forced me into going to. He was one of the only trolls my own age. Deafness isn't something that happened in trolls often, the defect usually leading to surgery or other things to remove the problem. In the older days any troll with this kind of defect was killed quietly. So in the groups of human kids it was no wonder I clung to Gamzee as he stared off into space making big and overdone moments.

Gamzee was in pain all the time. His parents had already had a defect in the family and had put Gamzee up for surgery as soon as the defect made itself known. It ruined him.

All the stories paint it as a beautiful thing, hearing for the first time. Most people don't understand that if one thing goes wrong in surgery or there is a mental problem that causes the brain to be sensitive to sounds there isn't much to do to stop the pain from ripping through your head besides taking off the implants outer workings. In Gamzee's case the outer shell didn't change anything as the chip inside his head and his brain wasn't entirely working well, Gamzee's brain was too sensitive. He showed me the insertion scar. Hidden under his long locks because he refused to wear it short. The scarring was bad but his parents didn't really believe him about the pain... So Gamzee had turned to self medication to alleviate the pain that ripped through his skull.

Gamzee never tried to fit in with the hearing world, his brother had introduced him at a much younger age to the Deaf community. He was always going on about miracles as he looked around the gathering, movement creating stories that explained everything about what was being thought.

It was the first time I thought Gamzee was right about his miracles. Little everyday things that happened at the place lifted my spirits and unlocked the part of me that was 'broken' and showed me use. I wasn't useless because I was Deaf, I could function beyond my hindrance.

I learned a few things about deaf people, Gamzee included. One: Deaf people are painfully blunt. They don't give a fuck if you're offended, this rule doesn't apply to Gamzee all of the time, he seems to care sometimes. Two: Deafness wasn't a disability it was a hindrance, something that could be worked around like a limb that I didn't need breaking, it wouldn't kill me, it would make my life harder not that my life wasn't already like that. Three: Deaf culture was over powerfully strong and as I sat in the car ride away from the gathering I found myself missing it more and more.

I went to a few more after that, growing more comfortable with my problems, but as i grew other problems started to come up. A deaf adolescent troll didn’t leave much room for romantic growth. So I turned to movies, as a sort of guilty pleasure. Gamzee never understood, not really. Yeah he watched with me but he was usually high out of his mind and still consuming his drinks that he hand spiked during his simi-sober state. But it wasn't like having a real movie buddy, one that would really discuss the finer points and bring over new movies for them to watch and enjoy together. I guess that’s what I really want out of this, a red quadrant that will enjoy my movies and cuddle.

I also may be obsessed with the quadrant system to a point that it is kinda sad that I haven’t been kissed yet. Shut up, I knew what it took to fill each part of my live life, a friendship like Gamzee where we can talk about anything it it wouldn't matter, a Flushed Romance that would be full of passion and sweetness (Okay, human romances make me really happy too, but that’s a really small hidden pleasure for me, most of the time, maybe… I don’t see myself pitying anyone more then me really… so maybe a human romance for my red...), a Kismesissitude that would inspire hate for years (I also can’t see myself really hating anyone that much, but maybe I haven’t met the right person yet…). That would fill my quadrants up nicely. But I wanted to start on the Flushed first, because I really want that… Okay, I may have watched one too many ‘new girl in school’ movies before coming here and have my hopes up way too high.

A movement pulled me out of my thoughts, it was the rest of the class getting ready to go. the first time the class had moved in the time I had been there, despite Meulin trying to get them to participate. It was depressing to watch, because she was really trying and it wore on her happy demeanor. She started to sign angrily at the class “Now time pack not.” Her hands moved efficiently in the motions. “Now sit, work finished not.” She was so close to pouting it was kinda adorable. A few reluctant kids sat back down and looked at the clock, counting down the seconds until they could get out. I really did try to pay attention for the last bit of the  class but it was kinda hard when the boy sitting next to me kept staring. I caught him twice in the last few moments of class, his friend with the shades, (at least I think they’re friends…) was considerate and didn't stare at me like I was some hidden jewel in the rough. He looked at me like the adults who saw me did, a mix of pity and wonder, more wonder than pity in his eyes though, or I might have blamed him for incessant flirting. I wasn't as into the eye contact and physical touch as much as the deaf humans I had met, or even Gamzee for that matter really. This boy creeped me out, his buck teeth poking over his bottom lip slightly, and his big glasses perched haphazardly on his nose, his glasses might have been a little smeared as his eye were a strange mix of blues that were brighter at some points and dimmer at others.

The bell couldn't have rang sooner, if the scramble to get out the door was any proof. I subtly kicked over the weird boy’s bag so that he couldn't catch me as I rushed out the door. That class unnerved me to no end, the sooner out of that room the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast chapter update because of my two glorious beta readers, Coda-fangirl and your-url-is-evolving.


	3. God Fucking Damn It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weeks pass, and we have met the cast and crew. 
> 
> Now It's just up to Dave to fuck this up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter suffered many writing and rewriting as I attempted to introduce all the characters and the roles they would come to fill.  
> These rest of this work is dedicated to my dear beta reader, Becka. May this story help you in anyway it can. I started writing this to vent my anger at a unjust world for the Deaf, and I will finish writing it to show that the world may be unjust, but it is something we can overcome, together.

The first few weeks of school passed in a blur of colors and names, so many that I had to create a binder with conversations in it, as almost none of the people I met actually signed. The opening page had colorcoded by blood the people I had met, and where I met them. The following pages were covered with conversations, passed like notes across the tables.

English had Vriska and Aradia, both focused trolls, but with very different goals. Vriska was overpowering, strong and heavy handed. Pretty in general terms, long hair and decently large horns, and vision eightfold, shown in her eye when she wanted to show you. If you wanted a model of troll culture she would be the place to start. She strived to be bloodthirsty and angry, but there was no way she was just that. All our conversations focused on classes, as she didn’t want much to do with me. I guess that is a good thing, because of what happened later. Aradia on the other hand was overpowering in other ways, she drowned me in questions, about history and experiences. She wanted to know what it was like being Deaf. I was a door into a world she hadn’t seen before, and that excited her to no end. She spent about two weeks asking questions before she moved onto other topics and our correspondence slowed to a near halt. She didn’t have time for me it seemed, and I could understand as I became ingrained in her group of friends.

History held Sollux and Eridan, who could barely keep their kismesissitude in public forms on a bad day (it depends on your definition of a bad day). They fought over their mutual friend’s attention as a proxy for their feelings, both wishing for red or pale with her, sometimes it was hard to tell. There were two kinds of notes from history, one’s barely used, small questions to either party with short deliberate answers. Notes like these were simple conversations, Eridan had a love for romance but was rather thick skulled about it, so we would share movie recommendations, in both troll culture and human culture, he would complain about his family and I would complain about mine, it was a almost pale relationship. I counted that as progress. Notes with Sollux were a different kind of pale relationship, fake insults littered the page mixing with technical words that wouldn’t translate well into sign language. Sollux was desperate to teach me how to program after I expressed a slight interest in it. I think he needed someone to talk to about it, despite how bad I am at it. The other type of notes in history were covered in yellow and purple pen, as I became their proxy for talking to each other, I would find a note from one of them on my desk and before I could pull out my pen to write a reply the other had stolen the note and started to write a reply. It took a week before I pinned the difference in notes on Sollux. The ones covered in ink always had Sollux responding to Eridan, but Eridan always stole Sollux’s notes, until he was told to back off, by Sollux. I hadn’t worked up the nerve to question about this relationship between them.

Science I was alone for a week before Nepeta introduced herself. Her signs were hesitant and slow, like she wasn’t as sure on her feet as she could be. It didn’t take much prodding to find out that she lived with Meulin for a few years and that’s where she learned her sign language from. Nepeta was kind and happy, perky and wrote in roleplay. She introduced me later to Equius, who I didn’t share a single class with but they came as a package deal, Equius was her Matesprite, and I respected that distance. No need to encroach on someone else’s matespriteship. Nepeta also introduced me to Jade.

Jade was the first human I was on first name basis with. It doesn’t mean I didn’t know Buckteeth’s or Shades’ name, I just wasn’t close enough to feel like I could call them like that. Jade shared my math class, and she should have been the last person I got close to, but she shared my table after we were introduced. and she started to doodle on my notes as I payed attention to the translator. We would exchange notes about the world around us, her view was so different from mine, happy and open and hopeful. I was the opposite, realistic and closed. Where she saw growth, I saw impending death. I didn’t know when I met her, or when I exchanged notes over that math table that she would be the light that would eventually change how I viewed the world. She got angry at me when I was having a bad day and slapped me into shape, and I pulled her out of the clouds and made her look in the mirror sometimes to see the truth.

She introduced me to Rose, who was everything I wanted to be, witty and sarcastic, with a dry humor and a brilliant mind, I envied her. So I stayed away from her. She asked me questions that I answered honestly, because she was intested in my deafness from another perspective, the perspective of a therapist, who wanted to cure, part of it was her humor, and part of it was her nature. I never asked much of her, because she deflected all questions with the ease of someone who would never let another close without passing her test.

Rose was never a problem for me, it was easy to ignore her when she was done with her questions. It was her step brother that was the problem. ASL stopped being a class I could relax in because I could understand it, and started to be a constant worry. I could never understand Dave, and it got under my skin. He was either serious all the time or joking, and I couldn’t tell the difference. I’ve never met a person I couldn’t figgure out and that drew me into Dave. made me question who he was and the side he brought out in me. He made me so angry, being fucking handsome and aloof. He was never above me, and I made sure to tell him that, but his responses pissed me off more than Jade’s happy-go-lucky attitude on some of my darker days. I hated Dave, I hated him from the first word he wrote in his stupid red ink, but I kept every note. Because when I didn’t hate him, I hated myself. and that’s a place I never want to go to ever.

John (Buckteeth) would talk to me regularly, and stare more often than not. but I eventually got through to him, with a long rant on personal space and the implication of starring in note form he started actually to talk to me. It was different then with Jade, Jade I could be real with, but John, john made me want to hated him so much that I started to vacillate. His dorky stupid ways would make me smile in the privacy of my room, his stupid attempts at coding made me feel better about mine. He had movies for me to watch that I hadn’t seen before, and insight into ones I had seen and thought were crap. I was becoming flushed for this stupid idiot of a boy.

* * *

Lunch came everyday without fail, I was weeks into my solitude, I hadn’t seen anyone I knew in my lunch, so I was happy to sit alone in my silence. The movement around me soothing in it’s consistency. I never had guests so I would sit with my home brought lunch and eat happily. If it had been anyone else but the bright set of blue eyes that whirled into the seat across from me I wouldn’t have even looked up.

I think I could recognize John from the back of his head. his hair was swept a certain way and it was imprinted on my blood pusher. I glanced up and gave a half wave as he stared at my lunch and at me. before starting to pack it up. I hit his hands away gently as he worked, determined to eat, but a little slow on responses because how could I have missed John in my lunch. John who I could draw from memory if someone asked me. He smiled and I glared.

‘move, you not eat alone why? place empty with me table.’ John wasn’t the best with ASL, he never put the words in any semblance of order other than the awkward english format. I think he means that there is a empty spot with him, but I can’t be sure or if the table is in a empty place of the cafeteria, or he is empty and there is a table, or if the table is moving and I need to go with him. Any way I look at it he wants me to eat with him. So I nod like I understand and pack up.

John is in a perky mood as he leads me and my lunch to a table on the other side of the cafeteria, square and off to the side. John slid into a corner, next to Sollux and Vriska, putting a body between them relaxed them both. Sollux has his computer out and blocking part of the table, so I sat where I could see everyone’s hands, directly across from John on the open end of the bench,Jade sat next to Sollux and smiled as I waved slightly. I set up my lunch again and started to eat, a sandwich, a drink, a pack of grubworms, and a pudding cup. I was almost finished with my sandwich when Dave sat down next to me with the strangest tension in his shoulders.

* * *

I always sat with John and Jade with their weird troll friends. Egbert had his own mess to take care of most of the time juggling the two most volatile trolls at the table, Sollux and Vriska. Sollux was a hacker and split his lunch between tapping away on his computer and glaring at Vriska around John’s head. John always had to sit between them because no one else wanted to take the risk. Vriska was usually going on about some story or another, she was into role playing of the violent kind. I think that is one of the reason Sollux hates her but I can’t ever really know with them. Who knows, they may have some strange Troll hate-mace thing going on. I never really bothered to care about what their personal relationships were like.

Jade sat on the other side of Sollux because she had this cute friendship thing going and it made the other trolls awkward to be around. I could care less, they were girly cuddle bros or some shit. Nepeta usually sat on the other side of Jade as they got along well and would roleplay when the possessive broken horned troll, equionis or something horse like, would let her come over and hang out with our little band of bros.There was a random assortment of other trolls that would cycle through as friends of Jade or John, but none took my seat like he had before. Maybe John or Jade didn't warn him, but the space across from John at our square table was taken up by a oversized black sweater and tiny horns.

I didn't even pause for a Strider second before taking the seat next to the short troll and looking at the back of Sollux's laptop rather than my friends face. Jade was now sitting next to me and smiled in her big way. "Mr. Cool!" she giggled and motioned to Karkat. "Karkat came to join us for lunch. Isn't that just AWESOME?" She was always really loud with this. Jade was a dorky kinda cute, with big glasses and buck teeth, dark hair falling in tumbles down her back.  
At the time I was happy to put my mind to Jade. focusing on the happy blabber that came with being around Jade and John. They were cousins or some shit and so they had quite a few interests in common and shared a few classes so they'd complain about that, when Jade could be torn from watching Sollux work or John wasn't listening to Vriska on one of her stories.

My attention was already divided as Jade’s attention wandered off from talking at me for the occasionally witty one liner. I watched Karkat eat mostly, we’d exchanged a few notes in class and left that at that, he was always angry and yelling, writing in the ALL CAPS version of angry speak. I never really asked what that was all about, his insults were creative though, all pissy and long winded, like he could insult me more by continuing to write paragraphs. If he was speaking he would have a soapbox so big it would dwarf the human race and be able to conquer both the humans and the trolls as a box overlord, and Karkat would be a tiny speck on the top of the box shouting away in his CAPS LOCKED speeches that would be heard as the holy text of the box and people would listen hard for the whispers of his voice on the wind. around the great box. I feel like cracking a smirk at this and let myself have the millimeter of a smile on one side of my mouth.

But back to Karkat and away from his soap-box overlord. We had struck some sort of simi friendship. One based on mutual insults and hatred of some of Egbert’s movies. I could almost consider him a simi-bro as we talked in class. His little noises never failed to make me want to break my cool and start laughing, Egderp’s dares didn’t compare to the little huffs and angry noises as I out-insulted him. It was like it was super serious for him. The thought crosses my mind that I could make him make him angry beyond the paper we shared in class now that he was sitting at our table. I tapped his shoulder to pull him out of the sandwich he was finishing and signed in perfect motions, ‘You don’t look so bad for a troll you wanna head over to my house and bang?’

* * *

The tap on my shoulder brought my attention up from my sandwich, I had been wondering how this was any different from sitting alone when Dave started signing, my heart lifted slightly, because maybe I could actually do something towards my budding hate-flirting with him.

‘for troll your body so-so, the-two-of-us sex, my house?’

I couldn’t believe him. I wasn’t that easy EVER. Had I come on too hard? was he just after a one off? I took a second with my mouth hanging open to think over our interactions. I hadn’t done anything that would warrant this. I hadn’t even started to hint at the baser reaction I had to him. So this is just another of his stupid shenanigans. I was filled with rage so real for a moment that I picked up my pudding cup, opened it perfectly calm seeming before smearing it all over his shirt and getting up in a huff. packing the rest of my lunch and going to my next class.

* * *

No amount of cute noises that Karkat had made could make up for the humiliation of having to go to the office and wear a ‘school sponsered’ shirt for the rest of the day because mine was covered in chocolate pudding. Who knew he would be so fucking pissy about it. I didn’t see a problem with the comment, it was a joke after all, He just took it too far.

**Author's Note:**

> I do have a tumblr for this story deafkarkat.tumblr.com I do post the chapters and some clips of future chapters, I will try and keep on a simi-regular update schedule, but for a more accurate representation of when the next chapter will come, check there!


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